A "Quick Cold Beer" Story

I was had just left the local Lowes last on a hot and sunny afternoon in Ft. Lauderdale the other day, I was looking for a lever type doorknob to replace my old one at home, it was the original know, and the thing was losing its spring (for like the last 5 years) I thought about replacing it when I originally bought my place, but now that I think about it, I found them TOO expensive at that time too, I left Lowes thinking that $50 is just WAY too much for a doorknob,(it was the only one that matched my old one}, and I could live with a rattling one for that price...so, I find myself thinking of a local watering hole called "The Bru's Room" since I had no place to be until later that evening and it was near noon, so I called a friend to ask him to join me for a cold beer, I was surprised when he answered and immediately said "Sure, hey I'm with another buddy and we are going to put the boat in, lets get a beer and dot it" That sounded perfect to me, I was getting a bonus boat ride! We met up at the bar with excitement in the air.After um, 3 beers, we all piled into his truck and with boat in tow headed to a boat ramp a few miles away, the sun was out, barely a hint of wind, we were GOLDEN!On the way we stopped for another 12-pak to hydrate us while we delivered the boat to a canal near his house, after a picture perfect launch at the ramp, his buddy wave and drove off with trailer in tow to drop it off at my buddy's house, and return to his own home where his own wife was apparently a bit upset with his about something he had done the night before, apparently involving beer I gathered...
We zoomed down an almost empty intercoastal waterway, it was during the week and we had it all to ourselves, we laughed at the poor working stiffs as we drank cold beer and felt on top of the world, then the engine coughed and went silent.
An hour later we had determined there was water in the gas as we floated like a cork in an increasingly busy waterway, large yachts drove us toward concrete docks with not so much as a wave, we hade no paddle as I ran from bow to stern fending off the rising and falling concrete docks and stray pilings while alternately pumping the bulb on out sputtering engine, we were sweltering under the blazing south florida sun whilst quaffing down beers in the feeble quest to replace the moisture which streamed from our every pore streaming down our legs and onto the deck creating a muddy slippery suface aiding in the clumsy slip and fall sideshow as we both attempted dating round to prevent the vessel from smashing against the seawall aided by the onslaught of giant waves created by passing high speed boats the laughed and waved as they sped by, after a few tense hours we sputtered into the protected dockage we sought across the street from his house as we stumbled across the street to be greeted by the high-pitched screams of his wife asking where the HELL we were, and what was wrong with him when he was supposed to be going out to dinnerin 30 minutes with his in-laws!!! I sort of cowered a bit as I began to notice my pockets felt a bit light and realized my keys were missing, why me, why now? what the F***...I was then included in the horrible lambasting as drunk and and idiot as my buddies wife insisted she deliver me to my house in her car as they had places to go and couldnt just leave me on the porch, she grumbled many things while telling her young daughter who rode in front how we we useless and could not be trusted to do anything, as she rolled up in front of my house and dismissed me from the vehicle I mumured thanks to the roar of her engine as they sped back to her equally usless husband.
I climbed the stairs to my place and knew what I must do, the option of calling my girlfriend to come let me in with her key was not a good option, after what I had just witnessed, so, I hit the front door with my shoulder like a priest chasing down an alter-boy, shattering the the old doorknob and doorjamb and providing me access to my home, AND my set of spare keys. After a semi quick yet expensive taxi ride to
my truck parked outside the bar, after which I drove directly back to Lowes, purchasing the $50 dollar doorknob I had turned my nose up at earlier, came home replaced the doorknob and a temporary patch on the doorjamb, a super quick shower and bolted off to meet my girlfriend who distainfully questioned the smell of beer on my breath and a slight slur in my speech, my retort was at least I was on time,
which did me little good, my behavior being was what was at question..
early the next morning I awoke and mentally ticked off the actions of the aternoon,and evening before, sure I had placed my keys in a safe spot. I began to drive to my buddies house after waiting until a reasonable hour calling as I began to get close, "I found them" he answered, bringing a huge grin to my face, all was well in the world again, "Wanna grab a beer?" I quipped with an even bigger grin. "Not just yet" he replied, knowing I was well aware of the international cooling off period we both were accustomed to following, "But real soon" he added, knowing another adventure loomed ahead...